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TheDrunKenMonk
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« on: April 15, 2009, 09:18:08 am » |
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read this the other day and not only did it make me laugh, it also struck me as being fairly accurate:
Written by Charlie Brooker in February 2007.
Unless you have been walking around with your eyes closed, and your head encased in a block of concrete, with a blindfold tied round it, in the dark - unless you have been doing that, you surely can't have failed to notice the current Apple Macintosh campaign starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb, which has taken over magazines, newspapers and the internet in a series of brutal coordinated attacks aimed at causing massive loss of resistance. While I don't have anything against shameless promotion per se (after all, within these very brackets I'm promoting my own BBC4 show, which starts tonight at 10pm), there is something infuriating about this particular blitz. In the ads, Webb plays a Mac while Mitchell adopts the mantle of a PC. We know this because they say so right at the start of the ad.
"Hello, I'm a Mac," says Webb.
"And I'm a PC," adds Mitchell.
They then perform a small comic vignette aimed at highlighting the differences between the two computers. So in one, the PC has a "nasty virus" that makes him sneeze like a plague victim; in another, he keeps freezing up and having to reboot. This is a subtle way of saying PCs are unreliable. Mitchell, incidentally, is wearing a nerdy, conservative suit throughout, while Webb is dressed in laid-back contemporary casual wear. This is a subtle way of saying Macs are cool.
The ads are adapted from a near-identical American campaign - the only difference is the use of Mitchell and Webb. They are a logical choice in one sense (everyone likes them), but a curious choice in another, since they are best known for the television series Peep Show - probably the best sitcom of the past five years - in which Mitchell plays a repressed, neurotic underdog, and Webb plays a selfish, self-regarding poseur. So when you see the ads, you think, "PCs are a bit rubbish yet ultimately lovable, whereas Macs are just smug, preening tossers." In other words, it is a devastatingly accurate campaign.
I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don't use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.
PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people. You can build your own from scratch, then customise it into oblivion. Sometimes you have to slap it to make it work properly, just like the Tardis (Doctor Who, incidentally, would definitely use a PC). PCs have charm; Macs ooze pretension. When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, "I hate Macs", and then I think, "Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?" Losing that second mouse button feels like losing a limb. If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.
Cue 10 years of nasal bleating from Mac-likers who profess to like Macs not because they are fashionable, but because "they are just better". Mac owners often sneer that kind of defence back at you when you mock their silly, posturing contraptions, because in doing so, you have inadvertently put your finger on the dark fear haunting their feeble, quivering soul - that in some sense, they are a superficial semi-person assembled from packaging; an infinitely sad, second-rate replicant who doesn't really know what they are doing here, but feels vaguely significant and creative each time they gaze at their sleek designer machine. And the more deftly constructed and wittily argued their defence, the more terrified and wounded they secretly are.
Aside from crowing about sartorial differences, the adverts also make a big deal about PCs being associated with "work stuff" (Boo! Offices! Boo!), as opposed to Macs, which are apparently better at "fun stuff". How insecure is that? And how inaccurate? Better at "fun stuff", my arse. The only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye. For proof, stroll into any decent games shop and cast your eye over the exhaustive range of cutting-edge computer games available exclusively for the PC, then compare that with the sort of rubbish you get on the Mac. Myst, the most pompous and boring videogame of all time, a plodding, dismal "adventure" in which you wandered around solving tedious puzzles in a rubbish magic kingdom apparently modelled on pretentious album covers, originated on the Mac in 1993. That same year, the first shoot-'em-up game, Doom, was released on the PC. This tells you all you will ever need to know about the Mac's relationship with "fun".
Ultimately the campaign's biggest flaw is that it perpetuates the notion that consumers somehow "define themselves" with the technology they choose. If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. Of course, that hasn't stopped me slagging off Mac owners, with a series of sweeping generalisations, for the past 900 words, but that is what the ads do to PCs. Besides, that's what we PC owners are like - unreliable, idiosyncratic and gleefully unfair. And if you'll excuse me now, I feel an unexpected crash coming.
Never a True-er word written in an article in a national newspaper....
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #1 on: April 15, 2009, 10:29:08 am » |
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Some quality Phil-bait there man! As Im not really in a ranting mood, I shall simplify my response to bullets: - Yep, Apple adverts are smug, boasting and shit
- Yes, a lot of people probably do buy them because the quality of design makes them feel 'cool' or 'creative
- Yes, they're fooking expensive
- Yep........
</endrant> that'll do pig, that'll do  |
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« Last Edit: April 15, 2009, 12:07:46 pm by TheDrunKenMonk »
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #2 on: April 15, 2009, 10:34:18 am » |
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that'll do pig, that'll do
Some quality Phil-bait there man! As Im not really in a ranting mood, I shall simplify my response to bullets: - Yep, Apple adverts are smug, boasting and shit
- Yes, a lot of people probably do buy them because the quality of design makes them feel 'cool' or 'creative
- Yes, they're fooking expensive
- Yep, gaming has always been shit on the Mac. That's changed with the iPhone & iPod Touch though as the App Store on those is widely regarded as arguably being the biggest revolution in mobile gaming since the Gameboy. (Ill let this past as the article was written before the App Store took off)
- Apple product design is widely known as some of the best there is (why else are people like Dell scrambling to release Macbook Air clones like Adamo to try to tap that 'designer laptop' market?
- OSX (the Apple operating system) is built on UNIX which is, as anyone with a hint of computer knowledge will tell you, 1000x more stable, secure and robust than any Windows operating system ever released (including Vista and Windows 7).
- Basically the Apple=Creative thing originated because, in the early days, Mac's were the first desktop computers to properly support the fonts & typographic data required for professional desktop publishing. This isn't really the case any more (Ive used Quark on the PC for years), but I'll still argue that the stability of OSX makes it a better choice.
- The one-button mouse thing doesn't count. All Apple mice for the past 5yrs have a touch sensitive button that knows which side you are clicking and acts accordingly
Personally I'd rather pay extra for a superior user interface, better system stability and wicked product design over a boxy piece of shit that I have to spend hours fucking around with just to maintain a working system. And don't even get me started on that Office Paperclip cunt.... </endrant> Oh yeah you bring up UNIX a very interesting thing for a Mac user to point out.... I wonder whether unix and red hat linux which is pretty much the industry standard webserver platform would actually run on a mac? Could you partition your hard drive today and run a Linux system alongside your OSX? In fact can you carry out any mods, software or hardware without invalidating your warranty? Surely that's a sign... If i so choose I'm pretty sure I could build a usd driven waterslide which would happily bolt onto the trusty old PC. I could then go and d/l linux (for free) and run my waterslide on an extremably stable system and for the record i used a mac for one lesson on 'computers' at school, needless to say i diudn't go back to that lesson again |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2009, 10:44:24 am » |
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and for the record i used a mac for one lesson on 'computers' at school,
needless to say i diudn't go back to that lesson again
Edit: I've deleted my posts cos I can't be arsed and discussing the merits of one computer over another is VERY bad for my sex life!! |
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« Last Edit: April 15, 2009, 10:58:40 am by Phill 3Parts DJ »
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2009, 12:03:54 pm » |
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Edit: I've deleted my posts cos I can't be arsed and discussing the merits of one computer over another is VERY bad for my sex life!!
damn you!!! appease me! I had a banging argument!!! It was unbeeetable so you can't opt out.... ytou would have been a PC convert by the end of the day  |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2009, 12:05:30 pm » |
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damn you!!! appease me! I had a banging argument!!! It was unbeeetable so you can't opt out.... ytou would have been a PC convert by the end of the day Heheh you haven't checked your previous posts then!? ;-) |
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2009, 12:09:36 pm » |
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Heheh you haven't checked your previous posts then!? ;-)
where's your modify button now eh? |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2009, 12:12:46 pm » |
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Heheheh Ah well, at least I won't get all those "a new member has joined" emails now!  |
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2009, 12:16:04 pm » |
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Heheheh Ah well, at least I won't get all those "a new member has joined" emails now! yeh i reckon you will, i dunno why it send them out to so many people, retarded smf software no doubt |
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kenny ken
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« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2009, 12:17:38 pm » |
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those emails make me feel popular
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Kerrse
Warrior of Shaolin
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Posts: 456
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« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2009, 03:19:40 pm » |
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Sounds like a typical PC owing loser, i love my Mac does everything it says on the box with ease  |
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dense
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« Reply #13 on: April 22, 2009, 04:39:20 pm » |
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 the only plus i can see is logic, and its not impossible to get it working on a pc.
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like houdini in a straight jacket i'm getting loose  |
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Kerrse
Warrior of Shaolin
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« Reply #14 on: April 23, 2009, 10:18:57 am » |
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the only plus i can see is logic, and its not impossible to get it working on a pc. There are plenty more plus's than just Logic  Lots of lovely software especially from http://www.rogueamoeba.com/ |
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dense
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« Reply #15 on: April 24, 2009, 10:44:59 am » |
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meh!! i have a two laptops at home that i use for mobility purposes, a desktop which has never failed me for production.. would never solely rely on a mac book or a laptop again, as upgrading costs an arm and a leg!! i cant see any plus's except you fit into the self importance bracket a bit better with a mac  |
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like houdini in a straight jacket i'm getting loose |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2009, 11:01:14 am » |
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Obviously, OSX will never be as good as Microsoft's "you clicked this button, please click this button to confirm that you want to confirm that you confirm that you will click this button to confirm what you're doing and while your about it, why not confirm that you will click a check box to confirm this action every five minutes?" approach to interface design...
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2009, 11:51:52 am » |
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ahh yes Mr Buckland
Google 'Hackintosh', that would be a PC running OSX would it??
Hmmm yes it would there's a working one in our office right now.....
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2009, 11:55:45 am » |
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Did I say it couldnt be done?
I was just pointing out that Windows is a buggy, outdated system built on 20yr old technology that relentlessly bugs the user with 'Did you mean to do that' messages and requires constant maintenance to keep it running.
If you like putting up with that rather than having a machine that takes care of a lot of that shit for you, fair play! Personally, I've got better tings to do than worry about file registries and defragging harddisks...
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« Last Edit: April 24, 2009, 11:59:25 am by Phill 3Parts DJ »
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2009, 12:02:14 pm » |
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Did I say it couldnt be done?
I was just pointing out that Windows is a buggy, outdated system built on 20yr old technology that relentlessly bugs the user with 'Did you mean to do that' messages and requires constant maintenance to keep it running.
If you like putting up with that rather than having a machine that takes care of a lot of that shit for you, fair play! Personally, I've got better tings to do than worry about file registries and defragging harddisks...
well it's all relative, personally i don't enjoy the constant questioning of what i'm doing but do appreciate having the ability to set my system up and having it working in a completely bespoke way. I've not used OSX so i don't know if you can do it on there, the point i was trying to make was that PC's can use any one of a number of operating systems, you can even go back to using DOS if that makes you happy... |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2009, 12:07:05 pm » |
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Furry muff... I think the whole Mac vs PC thing is kinda comical to be honest... Use whatever lets you do your job easier innit!? I mean, I grew up using Windows machines but for me now, the features in OSX make it far more fluid to use (things like Expose make juggling multiple windows 100x easier than on Windows) so its a far superior choice to do hardcore graphic design on... The stability thing is a big plus as well. The top-end desktops, the Mac Pros, are also completely customisable from a hardware point of view as well... Even the motherboard is mounted in a sliding rack so you can pop the whole thing out + replace it with one button push... I reckons you'd be pleasantly surprised with OSX if you used it for a couple of weeks tbh...  |
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« Last Edit: April 24, 2009, 12:09:53 pm by Phill 3Parts DJ »
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2009, 12:09:39 pm » |
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Furry muff... I think the whole Mac vs PC thing is kinda comical to be honest... Use whatever lets you do your job easier innit!? I mean, I grew up using Windows machines but for me now, the features in OSX make it far more fluid to use (things like Expose make juggling multiple windows 100x easier than on Windows) so its a far superior choice to do hardcore graphic design on... The stability thing is a big plus as well. I reckons you'd be pleasantly surprised with OSX if you used it for a couple of weeks tbh... yeh then I'll start djing with CDJ's and get a hair cut too!!! Not going to happen lol  |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #24 on: April 24, 2009, 12:21:37 pm » |
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 another thing every mac bought lines that tosser paul mcartneys pockets, so nah, i'll pass on that.  You do know that Apple Recordings is a different company don't ya? Those two have been suing the shit out of each other for 20yrs over the use of logos!! |
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dense
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« Reply #25 on: April 24, 2009, 12:23:32 pm » |
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yes i do, but "SIR" paul has been rinsing the suckers at apple for time lol no way bill gates would be soo silly  |
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like houdini in a straight jacket i'm getting loose |
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Phill 3Parts DJ
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« Reply #26 on: April 24, 2009, 12:27:15 pm » |
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Fuck all this shit! I was gonna buy a new Macbook next week but I reckons I'm gonna get one of these instead... Skillz.  |
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TheDrunKenMonk
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« Reply #27 on: April 24, 2009, 01:01:44 pm » |
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Hahah admit it mate, you just like using buggy 20yr old technology! Vinyl / Windows Computers.... same fing innit! haha! nah can't see the comparison myself |
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dense
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« Reply #28 on: April 24, 2009, 01:43:05 pm » |
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 for the record i only came up in this thread too start some beef you can always  flash with a mac and show your general distain for the human race 
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like houdini in a straight jacket i'm getting loose |
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Gunnin
Disciple of Shaolin
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Malfunktion sounds. Partyline soon :)
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« Reply #31 on: April 25, 2009, 10:35:07 pm » |
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lmao...another mac rant? ok then  Windows is the best, the hardware is cheap and fully customisable. Mac is overpriced Mutton dressed as lamb, its the dragqueen of computer hardware, expensive shit wrapped up in a "look at me i have to be cool" piece of white logo'd plastic. BLAT!! |
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Kerrse
Warrior of Shaolin
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« Reply #32 on: April 30, 2009, 04:03:07 pm » |
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